The BIGGER Picture

I can vividly remember, it was January of last year when I circled Diliman’s academic oval trying to force back those tears that were much too unruly for my weakened self.  Back then, the bigger picture was bleak, though somehow I tried to see it. All I held on to was a promise.

Just last Friday, I received news. I passed UP LAW and am qualified to enroll sans any interview. I was dumbfounded.

I found out about it in the midst of a live rock ‘n roll concert in the UP Fair.  For a second I thought I just lost my sense of hearing from all the head-banging commotion.  Everyone around me was going gaga over the revelry of the fair and here I was, in the middle of all the noise but completely deaf to their jubilation.  It was the prime of the night but lights from the fair blinded all around. However, inside me was my own little piece of sunshine that, for that moment and even just for that moment, shone more brightly than any of the lights that could be seen by the naked eye.

Oh yeah, I was pretty dumbfounded alright.

Just last year I was playing tug-of-war with God, trying to have my own laughable way.  Good thing I lost BIG TIME.  Pfft, the idiocy that is my opinion.  He knew better of course.  He knew this was going to happen.  And so as I look back, I seriously wouldn’t have it any other way – even if things turned out a bit differently. No matter where I go, I know it’s better than my best – His will, that is.

And so yeah, I passed UP Law.  Here goes my dream. But to be honest about it, euphoria has yet to sink in at the bottom. I guess I need about a month for that. But what I find most astounding is the idea that my desire is in congruence with His plan.  What a relief to know that one’s prayers are exactly what He wanted to grant.

It was just last year when it seemed so unclear, so unfair.  But in His time, He makes everything so beautiful – so beautiful that when the realization of a promise comes to pass, you are struck dumbfounded and in awe.

The bigger picture is much clearer when you’re seeing a part of it right in front of you.  It looks so good up close. But it’s much more exciting when the next part comes as a surprise…which, I guess, will always be.  Thank God. J

Melancholy, of late

It’s a minute to 2 in the morning. I am astir not because I can’t sleep; I could force some shut-eye if I wanted to. Besides, I can feel the demands of this corpora for some undeserved rest. But the reason for my vigil transcends what my physical may not readily grasp.  This is one of those moments when I wish the spiritual realm would just swallow me up and spit me back out into the physical, drained and empty.  How many times can someone be new again? How does one bury the dead that it may never have the chance to stir anew? Like how can a transgression be pardoned many times?  Well, only one answer comes to mind. Grace keeps us alive.

On the Revolutionary that is Che

Ernesto “Che” Guevara is some guy.  Otherwise, Benicio del Toro must have portrayed more than he should.  Cuba must pay some homage to Argentina for producing what history brands the symbol of the Cuban (if not Latin American) revolution.  Che took his revolutionary craze to smashing heights, even forging a deal with Fidel Castro to take the revolution throughout the Latin region in exchange for his adamant participation.  No one in his right mind would fight a war not his own if we speak in terms of nationality.  L’amour is what it takes.  This coming directly from a guy not of Cuban descent.  A love for freedom and humanity is what drove the revolution.  Bereft of that single factor, the revolutionary is pigeonholed as counterfeit.  Che defined the revolution quite differently than what is normally understood.  Revolution is not war.  Winning the war IS the start of the revolution.  One does not win a war then go home to his wife and children.  One wins the war and goes down to the real business of overthrowing a government.  If the governed wins, it does not remain governed.  It governs and must take on the task of doing so.  Otherwise, all is lost. 

Empathizing with the revolutionary that is Che is not necessarily siding with him.  But the l’amour that he exonerates leaves the lasting legacy. And the boldness to which he took change into his own hands and extended it to people leaves the indelible mark of a genuine revolution.  He was and probably will always be a man of high esteem for his character and principles, for the audacity and passion and for many other reasons the man is worthy of. 

If this man from Argentina could take his passion for Cuba to such a level of extremity, a man from his own land could no doubt take it farther.  If this revolutionary roots his cause from l’amour, any man who roots his cause from something higher and greater can definitely bring revolution to ethereal realms.  Not every man can be like Che, but as the guy points out, even the peasantry can join the force that leads to transformation.  Consequently, even the mundane takes on the courage day by day against the option of backsliding in failure.  As the seemingly strong cower, the weak musters up the courage to be the strong.

As a Matter of Fact

Superstition has its roots on ignorance (and foolishness).  It succeeds the lack of precisely accurate understanding.  What is it with people justifying superstition with the rationale that there is nothing to lose when one resorts to it? Better compromise than sorry.  That’s what it is, even when it seems you’re not compromising. As a matter of fact, there is a lot to lose.  We are a Christian nation, so it is said.  But we are also a people who confuse faith with feng shui.  You see altars at home with images of angels and saints and all around you also see figures and figurines for good luck emblazoning the irony of monotheism and idolatry.  Man sure has a way of resolving uncertainty. To put it more simply, how can one say he believes in an absolute God and all other things that come with that belief when he also believes in such things as luck and fortune-telling and magical spells?


Oh yeah, as a matter of fact, there is a lot to lose.  My Sage Dictionary tells me that “faith” is complete confidence. It is a strong belief in a supernatural power that control human destiny.  It’s either/or, people. You know, we can only have faith in one.  I don’t think it’ll work two-way.  We either have faith in Him or have faith in something else.  We cannot claim both.  As illustration, allow me to use a man torn between two lovers – the wife and the mistress.  The mistress, assuming she knows that she is a mistress, would more often than not somehow stomach and tolerate the set-up.  But the wife, upon the knowledge of the cheating lover, wouldn’t allow for that set-up to continue lest she has completely lost her mind and self-worth.  Because the fact of the matter is, they are bound by a supposedly sacred covenant of exclusive partnership.  And let me highlight the EXCLUSIVE right there. Aren’t you hurt when a partner cheats or rejects you? Well, lemme break your ice: God has feelings too. This may not be too good an example but you get the point.  I don’t want to sound accusatory and express some kind of bravado; it’s just mind-boggling really.  People search for some sense of security and they want to optimize every possibility to a point that they believe in a lot of things that can sometimes (or oftentimes) be contradictory.  The opportunity cost of it may not always be tangible, but for a believer of the spiritual, I say we pay a high price for it.


I don’t know what’s worse, being blind or myopic? Blindness is complete ignorance.  You are made to believe something because that’s the only piece of information fed you.  Myopia on the other hand is nearsightedness (aka foolishness).  You can see; you just can’t see that far.  You are clued-up but you just choose idiocy out of sheer insecurity.  Amazingly, I guess the latter is worse.

Defining Desperation

It’s when you do everything to have it. It’s when you do everything for it. It’s when you do everything to be consumed by it. It’s hopelessness without the One you anchor your hope on.  It’s oblivion if otherwise not had. It’s either/or.  It’s life or death.  It’s a cry to the last breath. It’s when you give up your everything for your Everything.  It’s when it’s the only option you consider and you shall ever consider.  It’s when it’s now or never.  It’s your All.  And it is when your All is the only constant in a timeframe that is forever.