Prelude to Whatever: Complicated Premises, Simple Conclusion

I’d say the UP College of Law is bent for some hard sell. Or to presume it more accurately, it already has its much coveted buildup as THE killer academic institution. From enrollment to the orientation, I could sense shock waves transmitted from one freshman to the next. Mind you, we haven’t even started yet. And as if we haven’t had enough jitters to spew, the institution seemed to take pleasure in sowing seeds of agitation to the frosh. Not one itty bitty opportunity was missed at insinuating the struggles of this road less traveled. If this is what gearing us up for the pits of law school is, I’d better be praying for some heaven.

Overwhelmed is such an understatement. The opposite – capitulated – is how I’d rather describe it. No matter how hard I scream inside or try to distract myself, I know that it’ll be futile. The best option would be to surrender – surrender every amount of stress and worry to Him, surrender everything to the Father.

I’m caught in a standstill. I’m contemplating whether or not to give up my part-time stint as a writer. Would I be able to juggle? I guess so. But would I be able to juggle without compromising my academics and risking my health? I can’t afford mediocrity in school and in my job. Plus, ministry should not be put on hold. I don’t know if last week’s hiatus from Clementine’s (my little ideapad) momentary death is a sign to stop. Or maybe I was just given enough stretch to decide. In any case, it led to some starting anew. My files are all RIP now. I hardly struggled with the letting go stage. I guess the heavens are telling me to start with a clean slate. I fear I might be exaggerating this experience, but I am at this so-called transition point. It’s pretty tough a stage so I’m cutting myself some slack.

Sigh. Decisions. Decisions. I’ve noticed the alteration in my temperament the past month. I’ve been less analytical and emotional the past weeks. Whenever the spirit of “dwelling on something” lures, I feel like there’s a shield ready to deflect every attack. Good thing Jesus taught us the simplicity of things. People tend to blow up little things. Sometimes, life gets so theatrical because of our inflated view of ourselves. Matthew 5:37 tells us that life is sometimes just a simple “yes” or “no” to which I say, right on! More often than not, we don’t really need that complicated gray, middle area which I abhor BY THE WAY. If we realize that life’s just really simple, we also are able to simplify things.

So, my point exactly is to keep things simple and in perspective. (That’s your grand formula for the next four years?!! Your supposedly well pre-meditated game plan?? Uhuh. I know of no other). When life seems too tough, I pray to remember that God’s love is simple. This goes with every decision. When the next chapter of my life seems so complicated, I know that His love will un-complicate things. When the demands of law school seem to reach zenith, I’d find myself at His feet. When ministry life is on the brink of burn-out, I know His mercies and love are fresh every morning. When I get so complicated, I know His love will un-complicate every complication in me. And His love is the only Truth I know. So I guess that’s just what really matters, eh?