What's up!

I haven’t been posting stuff about law school lately and not because I’m not in school. In fact, I have been very much into it that I don’t have to impel myself to talk about it. Get my jive? Anyway, I won’t be posting about legalese but some insights I gathered these past few weeks.

To say that my first year had been a roller-coaster ride is an understatement. I have definitely messed up a bit (or a lot), but the great thing about law school is how it builds me up.  There’s this maxim a batchmate told me while I was going through a tricky situation during registration: law school’s not a race, it’s a marathon.  My timetable was ruined, but I was as calm as calm can be – probably because I’ve learned from the past.  Trusting God on this is the best decision I’ve made in this aspect of my life.  Hence, the motto which I go by in law: FIGHT ‘TIL THE LAST BREATH.  It doesn’t matter if things didn’t work out as planned, the important thing is to continue.  Because my heart beats for this.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t be crazy enough to prolong this calvary. But my heart beats for it, that is why it is a happy calvary I’m very much willing to take.

I’ve seen myself grow.  This may seem to you a pompous statement, but I couldn’t rephrase it more discretely.  I’ve been disciplined like never before, compelled to focus like never before, and taught to control my emotions.  It taught me how to manage my time wisely, but at the same time to never be too busy that I forget myself or my purpose. “Yes, fight ‘til the last breath but I’ll never be too busy for You and you.” It’s such an irony, dontchathink?

I don’t talk about this dream this way often because it’s something I don’t find a need to.  But I want to share a bit of it.  As I told a friend, law school is humbling.  The profession seems grand, but the process of attaining an ATTY before your name is humbling.  It made me realize the nothingness in me – how small and weak and a naught I am.  It is good news, actually because when I am nothing, God becomes my everything. He takes over like a flood that surges when you’re all out.

I’ve been through that irresolute stage, that seemingly endless stage that’s so full of DRAMA and soul-searching! But after going through impossibilities and finding myself alive, I take it as a thumbs-up from my Father to carry on.

Law school is bad-ass HARD. But it makes me want to be better.  It doesn’t have to conflict with everything else! :) How in the universe am I going to balance school with ministry and family and friends and love life (yeah, let’s include that assuming it arrives)? Impossible, eh? Exactly why I like it when things go impossible.  BECAUSE God works best then.

It’s like walking in water, all the time.

Philippians 4:13