I can vividly remember, it was January of last year when I circled Diliman’s academic oval trying to force back those tears that were much too unruly for my weakened self. Back then, the bigger picture was bleak, though somehow I tried to see it. All I held on to was a promise.
Just last Friday, I received news. I passed UP LAW and am qualified to enroll sans any interview. I was dumbfounded.
I found out about it in the midst of a live rock ‘n roll concert in the UP Fair. For a second I thought I just lost my sense of hearing from all the head-banging commotion. Everyone around me was going gaga over the revelry of the fair and here I was, in the middle of all the noise but completely deaf to their jubilation. It was the prime of the night but lights from the fair blinded all around. However, inside me was my own little piece of sunshine that, for that moment and even just for that moment, shone more brightly than any of the lights that could be seen by the naked eye.
Oh yeah, I was pretty dumbfounded alright.
Just last year I was playing tug-of-war with God, trying to have my own laughable way. Good thing I lost BIG TIME. Pfft, the idiocy that is my opinion. He knew better of course. He knew this was going to happen. And so as I look back, I seriously wouldn’t have it any other way – even if things turned out a bit differently. No matter where I go, I know it’s better than my best – His will, that is.
And so yeah, I passed UP Law. Here goes my dream. But to be honest about it, euphoria has yet to sink in at the bottom. I guess I need about a month for that. But what I find most astounding is the idea that my desire is in congruence with His plan. What a relief to know that one’s prayers are exactly what He wanted to grant.
It was just last year when it seemed so unclear, so unfair. But in His time, He makes everything so beautiful – so beautiful that when the realization of a promise comes to pass, you are struck dumbfounded and in awe.
The bigger picture is much clearer when you’re seeing a part of it right in front of you. It looks so good up close. But it’s much more exciting when the next part comes as a surprise…which, I guess, will always be. Thank God. J
