Three's A Crowd

Meet my new and coolest friends! These buddies keep me company in the wee hours, always there through thick and thin (..readings). So lemme present....*drum roll* please

BFF # 1: Kulay-ful Markers and Pens

I have to admit, they may not be that BFF material but they sure make studying lighter and much more, erhm, fun. Trust me, when you're forced to go GEEK mode (or trying to be, like yours truly), you can't help but indulge in the littlest pleasures like enjoying switching between highlighters. I know, ang babaw but heeeey, they give life to the rather arduous feat of trying to stay awake while brow-burning. I need their sanguine-ness when my eyes go droopy. Their life span's shorter relative to undergrad usage (considering the Mt. Everest of readings I have), so I have the grandest excuse to COLLECT! Woopeee! :)

BFF # 2: Coffee

Well, we didn't click the first time.  Can't blame me though. This thing always got my heart beating twice the normal rate. I used to have palpitation fits with her.  ‘Di kami bati noon eh, lagi niya kasi ako pinapahamak. But not anymore! Of course, miracles DO happen...and whoever wants to remain enemies with the very thing who's got the solution to her perennial problem?! :)) You see, I really had no choice but to befriend Ms. Coffee right here.  I call it FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. Yeaaap, she's the best frenemy ever :)

BFF # 3: The Text

Last but definitely not the least. There can never be markers and coffee without THE text. It’s the very material that connects the whole barkada. You're the glue, dude! Who's the meanest, baddest, bully-est of them all? Of course it would have to be You, collective books and papers. I am survived by you. How can I not love you? Hands down, you're the bestest best SADIST friend on the block :)  I'd die in recit without you. :))


So there. 3 weeks in school. New environment, new experiences and new friends! Welcome to the best dweeb life ever! :))

Hanggang

Ilang ulit mo bang, itinatanong sakin
kung hanggang saan,hanggang saan, hanggang kailan,
hanggang kailan mag tatagal,
ang aking pag mamahal,

Ilang beses na nga ba ika'y natanong? Hanggang kailan, hanggang saan?

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig,
dito sa aking daig-dig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay,
ika'y iniibig

Ilang beses na rin bang tumulo mga perlas mong luha? Ngunit hindi nagsawa ang iyong pagmamahal. Ni hindi tumalikod, walang panahon ng paglisan..

giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin,
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal

Bakit nga ba? Hindi ko mawari 'yang puso mo... pero patuloy siyang tumitibok, naririnig ko. Bakit nga ba? Bakit? At sa mga sandaling ninais kong lumayo, ika'y nanatili...Bakit mo nga ba ako minahal?

hanggang ang diwa ko'y
tanging sayo laan
mamahalin kailanman
hanggang pag ibig ko'y
hanggang walang hanggan
tanging ikaw lamang

Hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi ko kayang tumbasan, ngunit sa puso ko'y Ika'y nanahan. Lagi na lang...akong umiiyak sa walang kondisyong iyong pagtanggap. Bakit mo nga ba ako minahal?

hanggang may himig pa akong naririnig
dito sa aking daig-dig
hanggang may musika akong tinataglay
ika'y iniibig

Ngayo'y hindi ko maipapangako ang katumbas ng iyong puso, ngunit ito'y ilalaan para sa iyo lamang.Sa mga pagkakataon ako'y makalimot, ipagpatawad muli, saluhin mo ako ng iyong pag-ibig. Hanggang kailan, hanggang saan? Maaring 'di ko alam...

giliw wag mo sanang isiping
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
at nais kong malaman mo
kung gaano kita kamahal

Ngayo'y ito'y pinanghahawakan, sumpa nang walang hanggan. 'Wag bibitiw O giliw, 'wag lilisan...Ika'y minamahal.

hanggang may puso akong
marunong mag mahal
na ang sinisigaw ay lagi ng ikaw
hanggang saan hanggang kailan
hanggang kailan kita mahal
hanggang ang buhay ko'y
kunin ng may kapal

Hangga't sa ang puso ko'y nagmamahal, ika'y isisigaw...

giliw wag mo sanang isipin
ikaw ay aking lilisanin
di ko magagawang
lumayo sayong piling
hanggang may pag ibig
laging isisigaw, tanging ikaw

O Giliw

hanggang may pag ibig
laging isisigaw, tanging Ikaw...

To Live By

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in
fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit
my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less
afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it
becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my
significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me
as blossom, goes on as fruit."

-- Dawna Markova

A Love Letter

Dear Malcolm,

I know we just met. I barely know you, except for circulating rumors and almost a week's worth of getting-to-know. I've heard all about your notoriety - your angas repute, your snobbish style. They say that getting into a relationship with you entails a roller-coaster ride. But I'll shrug 'em off..

'Coz I think...and I KNOW IT'S TOO EARLY TO SAY...but I'll say it anyway...

...I think...

I've just fallen for you.

I'm sure you're used to admirers and haters alike. Girls swoon - and FAINT - over you. Even the most alpha of the male specie shudder in your midst. I'm no masochist, don't get me wrong. You're just too awesome not to like. And promise, I'll pray not to regret getting involved with you. DON'T DISAPPOINT.

And as the song goes, "Jai ho."


Tayo na, ha? Kahit four years lang. ;)


xoxo,

Aiken


P.S.

Just so you know, I don't like cool-offs. So steady lang tayo. :D

Prelude to Whatever: Complicated Premises, Simple Conclusion

I’d say the UP College of Law is bent for some hard sell. Or to presume it more accurately, it already has its much coveted buildup as THE killer academic institution. From enrollment to the orientation, I could sense shock waves transmitted from one freshman to the next. Mind you, we haven’t even started yet. And as if we haven’t had enough jitters to spew, the institution seemed to take pleasure in sowing seeds of agitation to the frosh. Not one itty bitty opportunity was missed at insinuating the struggles of this road less traveled. If this is what gearing us up for the pits of law school is, I’d better be praying for some heaven.

Overwhelmed is such an understatement. The opposite – capitulated – is how I’d rather describe it. No matter how hard I scream inside or try to distract myself, I know that it’ll be futile. The best option would be to surrender – surrender every amount of stress and worry to Him, surrender everything to the Father.

I’m caught in a standstill. I’m contemplating whether or not to give up my part-time stint as a writer. Would I be able to juggle? I guess so. But would I be able to juggle without compromising my academics and risking my health? I can’t afford mediocrity in school and in my job. Plus, ministry should not be put on hold. I don’t know if last week’s hiatus from Clementine’s (my little ideapad) momentary death is a sign to stop. Or maybe I was just given enough stretch to decide. In any case, it led to some starting anew. My files are all RIP now. I hardly struggled with the letting go stage. I guess the heavens are telling me to start with a clean slate. I fear I might be exaggerating this experience, but I am at this so-called transition point. It’s pretty tough a stage so I’m cutting myself some slack.

Sigh. Decisions. Decisions. I’ve noticed the alteration in my temperament the past month. I’ve been less analytical and emotional the past weeks. Whenever the spirit of “dwelling on something” lures, I feel like there’s a shield ready to deflect every attack. Good thing Jesus taught us the simplicity of things. People tend to blow up little things. Sometimes, life gets so theatrical because of our inflated view of ourselves. Matthew 5:37 tells us that life is sometimes just a simple “yes” or “no” to which I say, right on! More often than not, we don’t really need that complicated gray, middle area which I abhor BY THE WAY. If we realize that life’s just really simple, we also are able to simplify things.

So, my point exactly is to keep things simple and in perspective. (That’s your grand formula for the next four years?!! Your supposedly well pre-meditated game plan?? Uhuh. I know of no other). When life seems too tough, I pray to remember that God’s love is simple. This goes with every decision. When the next chapter of my life seems so complicated, I know that His love will un-complicate things. When the demands of law school seem to reach zenith, I’d find myself at His feet. When ministry life is on the brink of burn-out, I know His mercies and love are fresh every morning. When I get so complicated, I know His love will un-complicate every complication in me. And His love is the only Truth I know. So I guess that’s just what really matters, eh?