So I haven’t really moved on from the jumpstart phase of this year yet. And I’m not about to leave that phase on a low altitude just because every freaking school day makes me rethink why I’m in where I’m in. Just so you know, I just had one of the most blah exams ever. Plus the weather wasn’t cooperating so I had to at least work with it by ditching the Ikot ride and walk my way to the dorm instead. It gave me time to try to take it all in, the sudden surge of sentiments that’s probably cooped up in the dustbin until circumstances spill ‘em with disrespect.
But even when circumstances hit all-time low, my heart still goes fluttery flutter. This year, as my leader put it, will be all about love – conquering by it and being conquered by it. You’re probably too smart to guess already that the L word is not confined to the mush, but to everything under the sun that can receive it.
I want this blog to come alive. That means staying clear from negativity. I will try to write more as I love more. I will endeavor to write it and live it. It’s great how blogging can be so cathartic, but let’s try to be more open to life this time. I’ll try to write my personal reality and by writing it, hope to share it to the world – even when chances of people actually reading my posts are imaginably marginal.
This year I’ll try to be more transparent and by that I mean sharing what I feel, not filtering it to make it sound safe and unintentionally ho-hum. Away with the fear of being read and consequently being caught off guard. But I need to loosen up not just to my close knit circle, but probably to the rest of the world out there. And find some awe-ing pricelessness in each one.
This year I will write experiences, not just opinions. I will not cower in fear of you seeing through. I guess that’s the point. That we see pass the trivialities of each other and actually feel the depth, the soul, the core. That to appreciate, one must at least understand. That to understand, one must at the very least, see.
This year I will make things happen and not just write them down on a piece of paper. I didn’t make any resolutions except one: to smile more often. I’m totally banking on you to nudge me when I fail to do so. Sometimes you need others to play alarm clock. <3
So Anyways. I started this day pretty messily. It got worse after the midterms. I was thinking over and over while walking home, There’s no use crying over what’s not meant for you. But it didn’t feel like it was totally not for me. I’m not about to end this day in dejection. Because it IS possible that even after going through crap, you’d still find yourself left with love – and lots of it.
P.S.
Credits to my kaduper sister for the pic edits. She’s awesomesauce beyond compare.
